Banes S. Lal
The Importance of Shared Parenting
Parenting is a team effort that requires the participation of both parents. As Christian men, it is essential to understand that raising children is not solely the mother's responsibility. Sharing parenting responsibilities equally with your wife is not only biblical but beneficial for your family's well-being.
Part of Genesis 1:28 states, "And God blessed them. And God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply". This verse shows that parenting is a shared responsibility that God has given to both parents. Shared parenting improves the relationship between husband and wife and strengthens the bond between parent and child.
The conventional interpretation of this Scripture might take this command to mean, "Have lots of children." Still, another perspective would indicate the meaning is not about multiplying the number of mortal bodies on earth but multiplying in one's reflection of God's power and presence.
To "be fruitful and multiply," is to love abundantly, share generously, and give unconditionally. It expresses God's wisdom, intelligence, boundless creativity, limitless inspiration, and joy and delight in life. It's to be useful and productive, demonstrate worth and value, and contribute positively. It's to express God in everything you do. It's to do good and to be good.
Communication is Key
Effective communication is the foundation of shared parenting. It is essential to have open and honest communication with your wife about your parenting goals, expectations, and concerns. Both parents should be willing to listen to each other's opinions and work together to find solutions to parenting challenges.
Ephesians 4:29 reminds us, "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." As Christian men, we should use our words to encourage and uplift our wives, especially when it comes to parenting. Regular conversations about parenting help ensure that both parents are on the same page and working towards the same goals for their children.
Be Present and Engaged
It's not enough to share parenting responsibilities with your wife. Christian men must also be present and engaged in our children's lives. Being present and engaged means spending quality time with your children, attending school events and extracurricular activities, and being available to help with homework and other tasks. Being present and engaged with them means you care about them and are invested in their well-being. Being an active participant in your children's lives also provides opportunities for bonding and creating lasting memories with them—the duty of parents. Colossians 3:21 states, "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." Be not impatient; refrain from using harsh measures. Deal with them carefully, understand their opinions, and develop their logic. Educate them well, discipline them with respect and compassion, and teach them the knowledge of the duty God requires. Often this duty is neglected, even among professors of the gospel.
Furthermore, in Deuteronomy 6:6-7, we read, "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." Here we see that parents are called to teach their children about God's ways and commandments, which should be a continuous process throughout the day, not just at specific times. This passage highlights the importance of parents instilling values and principles in their children from a young age, and it shows that both parents are responsible for doing so.
Share Household Chores
Raising children is a full-time job that requires a lot of time and energy. Sharing household chores with your wife can help alleviate some of the stress and workload associated with parenting.
Proverbs 31:27 says, "She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness." Mothers have so many balls they need to keep in the air simultaneously. A mother's work is never done. There is always another meal to prepare, a face to wipe, clothes to wash, an errand to run, a room to clean and a dollar to manage. She serves unselfishly like Jesus. A loving husband will genuinely thank her and serve his wife by listening, helping, and praising her. Sharing household chores also models teamwork and responsibility for your children.
Discipline Consistently
Disciplining children is an essential part of parenting. It is crucial to discipline consistently and fairly to ensure children understand the consequences of their actions.
Proverbs 22:6 states, "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." As Christian men, we are responsible for teaching our children right from wrong and guiding them toward a path of righteousness. Consistent discipline also helps establish boundaries and rules that children can follow, leading to a more peaceful and harmonious household.
Support Your Wife's Parenting Decisions
As a Christian man, supporting your wife's parenting decisions is essential, even if you don't always agree with them. This shows your wife that you respect her role as a mother and value her opinion.
Ephesians 5:33 reminds us, "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Respecting your wife's parenting decisions is a way of showing her love and respect. Supporting your wife's parenting decisions also provides a united front for your children, which can prevent confusion and conflict.
Take Time for Self-Care
Raising children can be exhausting and emotionally draining. As a Christian couple, taking time care to ensure that you are mentally and physically healthy is essential. Matthew 15:32 states, "Now Jesus called His disciples to Himself and said, "I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now continued with Me three days and have nothing to eat. And I do not want to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way." There are ways we can take care of ourselves that allow us to feel revived and rest in God's compassion toward us; He knows what we need.
Taking care of your body and mind is a way of honouring God and taking care of the temple He has given you. Taking time for self-care can also help you be a better parent by reducing stress and improving your overall well-being.
Be Flexible and Adaptable
Parenting is a constantly evolving journey that requires flexibility and adaptability. As a Christian man, it is essential to be open to change and willing to adapt to your children's needs as they grow and develop.
James 1:19 reminds us, "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." Being quick to listen and slow to anger can help you respond to your children's needs in a calm and thoughtful way. Being flexible and adaptable also shows your children that you are willing to change and grow as a parent, which can inspire them to do the same.
Pray for Your Children
Prayer is a powerful tool that can help guide and protect your children as they navigate life's challenges. It is essential to pray for your children daily. Philippians 4:6-7 states, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Praying for your children can bring you peace and comfort, knowing they are in God's hands. Praying for your children also shows them that you care about their spiritual well-being and are invested relationship with God.
As I expressed earlier, Christian men, sharing parenting responsibilities equally with our wives is biblical and essential for our families well-being. By communicating effectively, being present and engaged, sharing household chores, disciplining consistently, supporting our wives' parenting decisions, taking time for self-care, being flexible and adaptable, and praying for our children, we can create a loving and nurturing environment for our families to thrive.
Read Part 1 Here, Fathers, where you?
Comentários