Archived Verse Of the Week

- BsL

Ignoring or overlooking an offence is a godly virtue, and this proverb tells us that a person's discretion and wisdom give them the patience and self-control to be slow to anger. 

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So it can be disappointing when a fellow Christian offends us because we have higher expectations for them. Like Romans 12:10 encourages, we hope believers will give preference to one another. Similarly, we hope that Believers recognize the gravity of the words we utter, realizing that we shall all be held accountable for every empty word spoken (Matthew 12:36). Still, even during these hurtful experiences, God provides us with the opportunity to learn how to work through such offences. And if we're willing to submit to Him, He will refine and fine-tune our hearts during the process.

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We've all been at the receiving end of offending comments, whether from friends, family, social media, or competing viewpoints. An offensive word can make us feel as if we're being attacked personally. We may believe the offender intended to hurt us, but this is not always the case. We are often offended because of a perceived wrong. The other individual is entirely unaware of the situation. So, instead of seeking forgiveness, they continue with their lives as if nothing has happened.

Meanwhile, our feelings of irritation, hurt, and even anger grows stronger. "Whenever you fly into a rage, you rarely make a safe landing," someone once stated. God's remedy to losing our cool and saying or doing things we can't take back is so easy that it sounds impossible: forgive and simply disregard the offence against you. You see, a lack of self-control or self-discipline is at the base of the problem.

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Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, allowing believers to manage their reactions, watch their words, and regulate their attitudes. It all starts with a simple prayer of surrendering God's rule over our lives. However, if we are to stay wise, we must continue to pray and have a favourable perspective throughout our lives on this planet.

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God gives us more self-control the more we accept His control over our life. We can consider first and act later with self-discipline. Self-control permits us to write an angry email but be sensible enough never to send it, erase it, or mention it again. Forgive. It's as easy as that. God is aware of the depths of our feelings. He made them.

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Let's Take an Honest Look at Ourselves

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• Overlooking offences have a meaningful outcome. As we focus on forgiving others, we uncover and discover a weakness in ourselves that we probably weren't aware of.

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• Offences have a way of shining a light on us, exposing portions of our hearts that need to be revealed. If we sincerely want God to reform and regenerate us, we must be willing to analyze our attitudes and behaviours, as 2 Corinthians 13:5 encourages us to do. So overall, if we are willing, this purging process can help us experience a godly type of gratefulness for the cleansing work it does within us (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

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• When responding to an offence, it's helpful to look at the big picture to identify what's most important to us, especially when dealing with the failings of others.

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• Overlooking offences allows us to seek God's wisdom, asking Him to guide our answers and actions and to disclose how they may influence our relationships in the long term.

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• Instead of focusing on others' lack of love for us, we can shift our love toward them, choosing to forgive and be patient with them even when they don't deserve it.

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• Like Colossians 3:13 reminds us, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as Christ forgave you." According to God's word, when we forgive offences, it reflects positively on us. Handling offences also reduces our exposure to it, not because others aren't offending us, but because we aren't allowing it into our lives.

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• It is helpful to remember the grace given to us when these things happen. God did not demand instant justice concerning our transgressions. He chose to show mercy - and later to forgive when the payment had been made by His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ; how we need to see this - and seek to emulate it in all our relationships. 

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That, dear believers, is wisdom - and it is to the glory of God. We can thank Him today for providing guidance in His Word to help us when those emotions become fragile because of an offence.

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Who has offended you? Who do you need to forgive?