Banes S. Lal
I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Relationships can be the foundation of our joy, support, and growth, or they can lead to abuse and unhappiness. Yet, in a world that increasingly prioritizes personal gain, many interactions risk becoming transactional, where love and care are offered with an expectation of mutual exchange.
Scripture speaks directly to this issue, urging us to pursue relationships grounded in selflessness, humility, and genuine love. Let us explore these principles as they reveal God's heart for our interactions with others, as selfless love overcomes transactional relationships.
Fostering a Culture of Mutual Respect and Care
In Matthew 7:12, Jesus instructs us, "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." This verse, often referred to as the Golden Rule, calls us to treat others as we wish to be treated. It is not a command to barter kindness but an invitation to reflect God's love through our actions.
One powerful example of this principle is found in the relationship between Jonathan and David. In 1 Samuel 18:3-4, we read, "Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle." Jonathan, though the heir to Saul's throne, selflessly supported David, knowing David was chosen by God to be king. His love for David was not transactional; he didn't seek anything in return but gave sacrificially, even at a personal cost.
Jonathan's actions reflect the Golden Rule in practice. He treated David with honour and care, prioritizing God's will and their friendship over his own ambitions. His example pushes us to cultivate relationships grounded in genuine respect, even if it means making personal sacrifices along the way.
Beyond Reciprocity: Embracing a Deeper Love
In Luke 6:32-34, Jesus poses a profound challenge: "If ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye?" Here, He shifts our focus from transactional exchanges to unconditional love. Christ's love for us was never conditional—He died for us while we were yet sinners, with no guarantee of our gratitude or devotion in return.
Jonathan's relationship with David again provides a beautiful illustration of this higher love. Despite his father Saul's growing hatred for David, Jonathan risked his life to protect him. 1 Samuel 19:1-2 recounts how Jonathan warned David of Saul's intent to kill him: "But Jonathan Saul's son delighted much in David: and Jonathan told David, saying, Saul my father seeketh to kill thee: now therefore, I pray thee, take heed to thyself." Jonathan's actions were not about securing favour from David; they were rooted in a genuine, selfless love that sought David's safety above his own.
The Beauty of Selflessness
The Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 2:3-4, "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." These words invite us to step outside ourselves, prioritizing the needs and well-being of others over our own.
Jonathan's humility exemplifies this. As the king's son, he had every right to pursue his position as Saul's successor. Yet, he humbly accepted God's plan for David to take the throne and actively supported David's journey. Jonathan's ability to set aside his own desires for the sake of his friend shows us what it means to esteem others better than ourselves.
The Gift of Generosity
Proverbs 11:25 reminds us, "The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." This poetic wisdom reassures us that generosity is never wasted. While transactional relationships operate on the principle of exchange, God's economy operates on abundance. When we give freely, we not only bless others but also receive blessings in return—perhaps not in material form, but in the richness of joy, peace, and fulfillment that comes from aligning with God's will.
In Jonathan's case, his generosity blessed not only David but also himself. Their bond provided Jonathan with a friend who honoured his memory long after his death. 2 Samuel 9:1 recounts how David sought to show kindness to Jonathan's family for Jonathan's sake, fulfilling his covenant by caring for Jonathan's son Mephibosheth. This lasting legacy reminds us that selfless love leaves a mark that extends far beyond our lifetimes.
The Essence of True Love
At the heart of this discussion lies 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, a passage that beautifully defines love: "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil." True love, as described here, is the antithesis of a transactional mindset. It does not seek its own gain but delights in the well-being of others.
Jonathan's unwavering loyalty to David reflects this definition of love. He bore the cost of their friendship with patience and kindness, never envying David's anointing and always seeking his good. His example invites us to strive for relationships where love is not measured by what we receive but by what we give.
A Compassionate Challenge
As we reflect on these scriptures and Jonathan's relationship with David, let us examine our hearts. Are there relationships where we have placed conditions on our love? Are there times we have given only to receive? These questions are not meant to bring guilt but to encourage growth. God understands our struggles and offers His Spirit to guide us into deeper, more selfless connections.
In pursuing relationships modelled after Jonathan and David, we not only bless others but also experience the fullness of joy that comes from living in accordance with God's design. May we approach each interaction with the intention of seeking not what we can gain but how we can serve. By doing so, we become vessels of God's love, reflecting His grace in a world that desperately needs it.
Comments