Archived Verse Of the Week

Kisses or wounds, which do you prefer? In the absence of additional information, almost anyone would respond to kisses. However, after reading this proverb, we should reconsider our response.

 

Friends who tell us exactly what we want to hear are more valued in our world. People wish to have friends who, when faced with a dilemma in their lives involving a difficult choice, will say, "You should do what makes you happy."

 

Has your friend ever told you, "You've got spinach stuck in your teeth?" You probably felt a little embarrassed when you realized how long you had gone with green flakes poking out every time you smiled. Nonetheless, you were probably grateful to your friend for bringing it to your attention.

 

A good Christian friend will draw our attention to spiritual issues that we might miss, such as idolatry and sin. When we stray from the narrow path, they will let us know. They will highlight areas in our lives where we don't fully appreciate who God is and what he has accomplished. A Christian friend will give us the advice we need, not what we want to hear. "Open rebuke is better Than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Proverbs 27:5–6). Genuine friends have enough faith in you, to be honest with you about your flaws. I prefer a friend who will speak truthfully about me in front of me. 

 

An exhortation encourages one another is not one where we gossip and criticize one another. This is not the time to make people feel bad. We don't prod others because we enjoy criticizing one another's shortcomings. Instead, we support one another because we find it heartbreaking when another Christian slips into sin. When different parts of the body of Christ turn away from God to do their own thing, it harms the body of Christ because we are connected as siblings in Christ.

 

Our attempt to encourage one another should always be made with love and gentleness. "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear" (Proverbs 25:11–12). We should make a special effort to speak to them with kindness, encouraging them and attempting to motivate them to advance in the faith. The apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians, "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted" (Galatians 6:1).

 

We see the quicksand they're about to step into and desperately want to pull them away before it swallows them up. We remind them of the joy of knowing and being known by God, of the deep satisfaction of enjoying the One who created us. We remind them of who they are and what Christ has done for them. We remind them that they were purchased at a cost, that they are new creations, and that Christ will not abandon them. We direct them toward the cross, redemption, forgiveness, and the path of repentance. Furthermore, we offer to travel the distance with them.

 

We may be embarrassed when a friend remarks on a stain on our shirt or food stuck in our teeth, but we are grateful in the end. It can be difficult to hear when a friend gently counsels us and draws our attention to sin in our lives. The wise, on the other hand, will pay attention.

 

"Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning" (Proverbs 9:7–9). When you have a Christian friend, they will tell us what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.

 

When a friend offers us advice, we should pause and think about it. We need to ask the Lord to open our eyes to see what our friend sees in prayer. We must examine our hearts for sin and how we look for fulfillment and joy elsewhere than in God. We must take what we can from it and become more like Christ. And we must express our gratitude to our friends for being open with us.

 

Do you have a friend who constantly encourages you? Ask the Lord to send you a friend like that in your prayers. Make friends with those whose lives are filled with the joy and love of Christ. Spend time with those who exist to delight in God for God's glory. Spend the time to form close, trustworthy relationships with others and strive to bring out the best in one another, including by encouraging one another in their faith.

 

We all need friends who will support us as believers. There is more at stake than just feeling embarrassed about how we appear when we have food in our teeth, so we need to pay attention to their advice and heed their warnings. Because they are concerned for our hearts, our friends encourage us. The kiss may only be a prelude to something far worse, while the wound is given only to bless us in the end.